We have no family near by so that they could stay there and hubby won't let them spend the night with friends. Got added duty today because hubby had to bring another ss teacher over and go over the lesson since she did not show Wed. Now my morning is almost gone and I have nothing to show for it. I feel disoriented and nauseaus. There is no cutting back unless it is school which helps pay the bills. Mom was right. I am a faillure. I can't do this. Who am I kidding? Even now I am crying and noone irl notices kuz they do not care to. They just want me to do it all until they lose me then they will find someone else. I know I am replaceable. That is why hubby got a nanny who called herself the kids' new mommy when I was away a few weeks at a friends trying to get better. See I know noone needs me or wants me. They just use me as long as it is convenient. Nothing from childhood to adulthood has really changed...except perhaps the method of control. I have a choice now but I want to be close to my kids as long as possible.