Staying safe. My friend next door whom I have known for 4 years and I came up with a plan for me to stay that way. He cancelled his lunch with his ex all on his own and hasn't mentioned past lovers. This by no means of course gets him out of hot water.

He has a therapist and so do I. His goals say he wants a healthy relationship and I have refused to enable him in any way.

When we were together intimately a few days ago he recognised the gentleness and love and passion. I think he was shocked that intimacy can be even better without whips and the like.

Still leaving, but making the plans carefully and slowly...he's never been violent with me and he knows he has the very issues I've written about.

I just wanted to write that we have been good to eachother (aside from the "let me show and tell you about my sexual past").

For some reason, he's not doing it.

I also wanted to say I really appreciate the support I am getting on this because I felt like was trying to convince me that telling me and showing me about his past was normal. I think he's got the idea.

Like I said, I am just keeping you abreast of the situation and as I move on, you will know.

Thank you all for being here...sometimes you all are better than any bezo that I could numb my feelings with (not that I am in a habit of doing this.

I just want to say thanks.