Look, if you want to talk to me then talk to me. You know the answer to every question you posted. I don't know what your diagnosis is, all I know is that part that turns to rage is out of control. You have done everything you can to hide from it but, now its starring you in the face. Yes you did do the things you did and it was without an excuse. No self defense. The "slingshot" was great for you and I bet you got a big laugh out of it. Losing any chance of money insurance etc, was stupid and that goes right along with the behavior pattern. I do not plan to be here much longer, so if you have something to say, then say it. If you want to clear you head of guilt don't come knocking on my door. You destroyed my life and you enjoyed doing it and then you post it so everyone else can laugh. You know fully well that I suffer from lack of self worth and everytime you put me down or swing at me or scream at me you fuel that fire. Now your probably wondering what happened, that is the delusion and that is what will cost me my life.