...that's what I keep telling myself. I shouldn't do it because I have no one who is supportive of me and have to one to turn to and just plain have NO ONE! I'm trying to type away...just so I don't cut, don't take pills, don't do anything more drastic than that!

I'm trying to shut everything off but it keeps going over and over inside my head! I can see all of it, me cutting, me overdosing, me hanging myself...all of it I can see.

I know I should call somebody...anybody...but the will and desire is just not there! I don't really want to be around anybody right now! Nobody accepts, supports, or really wants me anyways! My boyfriend and my only friend here don't do any of that! The freakin people at partial could really care less. I think the T's there only call because they have to according to regulations! It's more their civic duty than anything else. So calling some stranger won't help, either! Why the hell would they care?