It sort of dawned on me the other day that I feel better. I have been able to do more around the house and I have been feeling calmer and less anxious. I can feel my creativity coming back. I got a cute hair cut and a fun new hair color, and a new tube of lipstick. I went to my T appointment today and in mid-sentence he had to stop for a second because it think it registered with him that I put effort into how I loooked today, and he said that I looked nice today. He is used to seeing me in sweats and undone hair and no make up. I felt like actually getting dressed today and when I fixed my hair, the new cut and color were calling out for makeup.

I think in two years, he has seen me practice self care maybe twice.

I am thinking about going back to school for creative writing. (something I have been wanting to do for years)

The only bummer is that my husband and my mom keep asking me if I am becoming manic. I don't think so, but I trust my p-doc and T enough that if they tell me to put the brakes on, I will. T hinted today that maybe going back to school sounds a bit grandiose, but when I explained to him that it was in response to an email I got about a local university having a seminar featuring graduates speaking about their fields and that there would be admissions reps available to talk about certain programs, he realized that I am only in the thinking and checking phase and that I am not ready to just start shelling out money. (which would be the manic part, unless it is preceeded by lots of research and discussion with my family).