I've been attending AA since October 2009. I can't even put together a month. I just left again in january because i convinced myself i never had a problem. I just ended up drinking everyday and all day. Nothing had changed since i stopped drinking. A week after i quit i was doing things that made me sick, and its worse cause i know that i have an option to go back. I called my sponsor and started going to meetings again. I just want to be able to accept being an alcoholic and get better. I am miserable every time i drink. The thing i hate those is having to do stuff. My sponsor makes me hit a mtg every day, and she makes me read the big book and call people and a million other little things that i just don't want to do. i guess I just want to be happy and have the things she has, but i don't want to do anything to get them. I'll have 30 days on the 20 of this month, if i make it till then. I'm really trying to listen this time, i hope i make it. I just can't keep playing this in and out game anymore.