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Feb 20, 2011, 04:53 AM
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Quote:
In cases where it's either too harsh or largely misplaced, shame turns out to be not just one of the biggest causes of emotional problems, but one of the biggest impediments to dealing with them. Shame makes your problems seem bigger and more intractable than they are. And it makes you feel smaller and more alone than you are. Shame makes you bury your head in the sand and pray that either the problem -- or you -- will miraculously disappear. This is especially true in college.
Everyone confronts psychological problems during his or her life. No one is exempt. Wealth, beauty, intelligence, a happy childhood, a good education, good parenting and good genes: none of these things can absolutely protect you against psychological problems. So why do you feel ashamed?
The reasons are ignorance and pride. You feel ashamed about having psychological problems because you believe, wrongly, that no one else is having those problems or, more likely, because you imagine -- again wrongly -- that no one else like you is having those problems. People like you -- strong, smart, successful people -- don't have psychological problems. Only weak, limited, inept people do. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-..._b_810424.html
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Shame may be composed of many emotions. http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/the...aces-of-shame/
Toxic Shame: "What is the shame that binds you? How did it get set up in your life? What happens to healthy shame in the process?
Toxic shame, the shame that binds you, is experienced as teh all pervasive sense that I am flawed adn defective as a human being. Toxic shame is no longer an emotion that signals our limits, it is a state of being, a core identity. Toxic shame gives you a sense of worthlessness, a sense of failing and falling short as a human being. Toxic shame is a rupture of the self with the self.
It is like internal bleeding. Exposure to oneself lies at the heart of toxic shame. A shame based person will guard against exposing his inner self to others, but more significantly, he will guard against exposing himself to himself.
Toxic shame is so excruciating because it is the painful exposure of the believed failure of self to the self. [selves to selves too we believe] In toxic shame the self becomes an object that can't be trusted, one exeriences oneself [selves] as untrustworthy. Toxic shame is experienced as inner torment, a sickness of the soul. If I'm an object that can't be trusted, then I'm not in me. Toxic shame is paradoxical and self-generating. There is shame about shame. People will readily admit guilt, hurt or fear before they will admit shame. Toxic shame is ghe feeling of being isolated and alone in a complete sense. A shame-based person is haunted by a sense of absence and emptiness..." http://www.soulselfhelp.on.ca/tshame.html "Guilt says I've done something wrong; shame says there is something wrong with me." http://www.noogenesis.com/malama/guilt.html
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