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Old Feb 16, 2011, 01:31 AM
Whatthebleepdoiknow Whatthebleepdoiknow is offline
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Shame or emotions of inferiority (Toxic one, not normal inferiority emotions)? I know it's a question of chicken or egg, but it's interesting to know. Recently I became convinced that Shame is at the root of most of neuroses and so is inferiority complex. Shame and inferiority emotions are extremely linked together as they can be a product to each other. Many mental health professionals say a person develops inferiority complex because he/she is shame-based. On the other hand, many other mental health professonals say a person becomes shame-based because he/she already has the toxic emotions of inferiority. They can be very same, but very different. What do you all think?

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  #2  
Old Feb 18, 2011, 10:44 PM
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ECHOES ECHOES is offline
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I think many experiences cause a person to feel inferior, and that shame is definitely a cause.
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Old Feb 19, 2011, 01:38 AM
IceCreamKid IceCreamKid is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whatthebleepdoiknow View Post
Shame or emotions of inferiority (Toxic one, not normal inferiority emotions)? I know it's a question of chicken or egg, but it's interesting to know. Recently I became convinced that Shame is at the root of most of neuroses and so is inferiority complex. Shame and inferiority emotions are extremely linked together as they can be a product to each other. Many mental health professionals say a person develops inferiority complex because he/she is shame-based. On the other hand, many other mental health professonals say a person becomes shame-based because he/she already has the toxic emotions of inferiority. They can be very same, but very different. What do you all think?
I've found it interesting that the people who could feel shame for having done something wrong sometimes don't feel any shame whatsoever, and the person who was born into a situation might lug around a load of shame that was never theirs to carry. I'm a little skitchy about using the word "toxic" with regard to emotions; I think all emotions are okay and useful, in their proper place.
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Old Feb 19, 2011, 11:21 AM
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Kymaro Kymaro is offline
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Originally Posted by IceCreamKid View Post
. I'm a little skitchy about using the word "toxic" with regard to emotions; I think all emotions are okay and useful, in their proper place.
I like that and it is so true.
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  #5  
Old Feb 20, 2011, 04:53 AM
TheByzantine
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In cases where it's either too harsh or largely misplaced, shame turns out to be not just one of the biggest causes of emotional problems, but one of the biggest impediments to dealing with them. Shame makes your problems seem bigger and more intractable than they are. And it makes you feel smaller and more alone than you are. Shame makes you bury your head in the sand and pray that either the problem -- or you -- will miraculously disappear. This is especially true in college.

Everyone confronts psychological problems during his or her life. No one is exempt. Wealth, beauty, intelligence, a happy childhood, a good education, good parenting and good genes: none of these things can absolutely protect you against psychological problems. So why do you feel ashamed?

The reasons are ignorance and pride. You feel ashamed about having psychological problems because you believe, wrongly, that no one else is having those problems or, more likely, because you imagine -- again wrongly -- that no one else like you is having those problems. People like you -- strong, smart, successful people -- don't have psychological problems. Only weak, limited, inept people do. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-..._b_810424.html
Shame may be composed of many emotions. http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/the...aces-of-shame/

Toxic Shame:
"What is the shame that binds you? How did it get set up in your life? What happens to healthy shame in the process?

Toxic shame, the shame that binds you, is experienced as teh all pervasive sense that I am flawed adn defective as a human being. Toxic shame is no longer an emotion that signals our limits, it is a state of being, a core identity. Toxic shame gives you a sense of worthlessness, a sense of failing and falling short as a human being. Toxic shame is a rupture of the self with the self.

It is like internal bleeding. Exposure to oneself lies at the heart of toxic shame. A shame based person will guard against exposing his inner self to others, but more significantly, he will guard against exposing himself to himself.

Toxic shame is so excruciating because it is the painful exposure of the believed failure of self to the self. [selves to selves too we believe] In toxic shame the self becomes an object that can't be trusted, one exeriences oneself [selves] as untrustworthy. Toxic shame is experienced as inner torment, a sickness of the soul. If I'm an object that can't be trusted, then I'm not in me. Toxic shame is paradoxical and self-generating. There is shame about shame. People will readily admit guilt, hurt or fear before they will admit shame. Toxic shame is ghe feeling of being isolated and alone in a complete sense. A shame-based person is haunted by a sense of absence and emptiness..." http://www.soulselfhelp.on.ca/tshame.html
"Guilt says I've done something wrong; shame says there is something wrong with me." http://www.noogenesis.com/malama/guilt.html
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Old Feb 20, 2011, 09:16 AM
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The sense of shame is an emotion as well are feelings of inferiority. I doubt they are mutually exclusive and that there might be a common cause of both.
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  #7  
Old Feb 20, 2011, 11:37 PM
Whatthebleepdoiknow Whatthebleepdoiknow is offline
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Hi, thanks for all your inputs. I'm especially interested in Shame and feelings of inferiority because I recently found out these emotions are at the bottom part of what I called "Tip of iceberg of neuroses"
I now know these toxic emotions are the ones that are causing my neuroses and preventing me from succeeding in my life.
I read numerous books about emotions and I believe toxic shame is at the root of addicitions and OCDs. However, one must ask what really causes toxic shame? It's abandonment. Abandonment here is not only physically being abandoned. Any kind of insufficient love met by a child is abandonment. So as a result of abandonment, a child develops a false-self beliefs. Beliefs that " I am basically flawed." This is the cause of toxic shame.
And as for the poster above who said shame is useful and helpful, you are absolutely right. You're not gonna run on streets naked because you feel shame! But toxic shame is the other end of spectrum. Toxic shame basically tells you you are a msitaken human being. So yea I wanted to make a distinction.
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