I stand in agreement and claim for you the peace you desire. These kinds of sneak up attacks are really upsetting. They catch you off guard and before you know it you are crumbling under the pressure. And disturbing images are the worst! You are not only trying to deal with the anxiety triggered but at the same time trying to shut out the haunting images. I am impressed with the dialogue you are having with your self to reclaim your peace again. May you feel the healing of your words.

A sudden meltdown like this (minus the disturbing images) happened to me just recently too. I was feeling fine overall. I was tired by satisfied with myself because I managed to clear the driveway and my truck of 6 inches of snow. I was good to go in the morning to drive my son to school. The biggest chore had been to clear away the the big pile of snow left behind by the snow plow blocking my driveway. It is a constant irritation for me.

Later that night while getting a glass of water before going to bed I looked out and I was sure I could see another pile of snow blocking the drive. I could not believe what I was seeing. I went outside in the freezing cold with nothing but a long t-shirt and my snow boots to see if what I was seeing was for real. I totally lost it when I saw another pile of snow blocking my drive. Out of nowhere the rage and anquish consumed me and before I knew it I was falling to peices. I was mad that it meant I would have to get up extra early to clear it again but more then that I felt like it had been done to me on purpose. There was no snow blocking the neighbours drive so I thought it was pay back for snarling at the guy when I was out there when he passed by a few days before.

It took all my resolve to take a deep breath and turn to processing my feelings. I did manage to catch myself before I cycled too far into the pain. Like you I used positive self talk to push myself through and beyond the experience. I repeated the talk until I felt some relief and was able to start believing it.

A side note to my story..... when I woke the next morning prepared to get outside to shovel away the pile so I could drive my son to school I looked out the window and to my surprise the pile was gone! Not believing my eyes I dashed outside to look and it was in fact gone. And all the new snow that had come in the night was also cleared of the drive behind my truck. An angel had come very early that morning and cleared it all away. I found out today it was my neighbour who had come over with his snow blower and cleared my drive. It made my day to think how considerate it was of him and how lucky I am to have such good people around me.

I hope lavie that you start to feel better soon. That your peace is restore and you might find some comfort in knowing you are not alone. This is why we have come together to practice and learn those things that can empower us to stand up to those kinds of triggers no matter how quickly they are put upon us.

We are on a journey and sometimes it might feel like the mountain is too high. The canyons to low. Together we can encourage each other to make it through the canyons and up to the top. Encourage each other to stay in the moment each step along the way. Moving forwad but present with each step we take. When we do reach our destination the view of our world will open up and the beauty like never before will capture our hearts with renewed our understanding.

Blessing Lavie and may restful peace grace you tonight.