I need to be stronger and be responsible for my own happiness. I shouldn't need a T to lean on

Just a quick example-i brought up in T that I thought a rupture in my relationship with my mom as a young child had caused the void and emptiness I feel. I kinda said to her I'd like to work on these feelings and maybe the relationship.
After that first discussion, I met my mom for lunch, and as much as I tried, I couldn't feel a connection (please let's not go into detail, cos I don't know how I feel about it).
In my next session I told T what had happened and that I had realised there just wasn't going to be a relationship there. That I realised I needed to accept it.
This stark change between yearning for a relationship, and then saying I was ok with how things were mapping out, have left my T pondering even more about me, and what's underlying.