Quote:
Originally Posted by peaches100
Is there another way you could work with me so I can keep feeling connected with you during these breaks?
But it feels like you’re choosing not to respond to my feelings about our relationship. I want to understand why.
|
Peaches, I think these are really good questions you have posed to your T. The first one shows you realize email isn't working and are proactively seeking another solution. I think a T would be impressed with this from a client. You are actively problem-solving and seeking her assistance in a non-judgmental way. I hope you will have a good discussion around this at your next session and together find a solution.
Quote:
Originally Posted by peaches100
But later, she said something like "I realize i may have been doing that. I suppose that, like you, i don't like the feeling of being vulnerable either."
|
This is an interesting comment from her. To me, it could mean a couple of different things. It might mean that she doesn't like
your feeling of being vulnerable. It makes her uncomfortable to have a client be so vulnerable with her. This would help explain why she seems to be trying to increase the distance between you with her emails. Or it could mean she is feeling that she is too attached to you and that makes
her feel vulnerable. Maybe your requests for reassurance, etc., make her feel bad because she cares so much about you, and thinks maybe she shouldn't have fostered your deep attachment to her, because she sees it is hurting you now. Do you think you might ask her what she meant by her comment? It might give you both a lot of information about your relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peaches100
I'm thinking about not emailing her anymore
|
That would "solve" the problem of your being hurt by her emails, but it wouldn't solve the problem of your feelings of being disconnected. So I hope, whether you abandon emailing or not, you will still brainstorm with her on different ways you can keep the connection going when she is away. It seems clear you need something. I don't think keeping busy helps one feel connected, it just helps us not think about it (which is a coping skill and certainly has value). I wonder if when your T keeps suggesting in her emails that you use coping skills, she is trying to turn you away from the goal of feeling connected in her absence? Maybe she doesn't consider that to be necessary or important? Do therapists in general consider that important? Maybe to them it's enough if the client is connected in session, and outside of session, it is not cause for concern?
Good luck, peaches.
