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Old Jan 16, 2006, 04:10 PM
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> I guess i need to find out if it's because he's just not looking for something deeper with anyone, or if it's because he just doesn't like me that much.

There are other options too... I have some friends who are real social butterflies (compared to me anyway lol!) They try to build connections with a variety of people and don't really spend a lot of time with any one person.

It doesn't have to be that he 'doesn't like you all that much'.

Sometimes peoples needs (regarding level of intimacy) can just be different.

I have one friend in particular who I just need to accept on her terms. She is totally unreliable. I have just learned not to go out of my way to meet her - because I know she will not go out of her way to meet me. Even if we have agreed to meet. With her... There is simply nothing else to be done but to meet her on those terms. She doesn't want to change. And she feels constricted and upset if people get upset with her about it. One of our other friends will get upset. He wants to know what she is doing and if she is coming with us and if she doesn't turn up he will get really very upset.

If it was one sided (she got upset with us for not turning up etc but expected us not to) then I imagine I wouldn't have much time for her... But she isn't like that. She doesn't come around to visit me very much either. I thought maybe it was that she didn't like me... But every now and then she will turn up. Especially if I haven't seen her in a while.

Sometimes it can be about... Fostering connections with people who are more similar to us regarding their required levels of intimacy. That being said I think it is wise not to burn bridges because peoples requirements can change over time. And sounds like you have a lot of good memories from the relationship too :-)