I left my first t because she had found a new job and told me she would be leaving in 6 months and I didn't think I could handle the pain of it so I never went back after the session in which she told me she would be leaving. And then it took me a year to get over it, although I'm still not fully over it 5 years later. I know your situation is different but there is really no way round the pain of leaving someone. If you 'leave first' then it will still be as painful as going to talk to her about it. And it sounds like you still have issues you want to work on so I hope you can share them with your t and deal with those. If you don't feel ready to leave t then you're not ready. Maybe like Tree said you could tell her there are issues you want to work on but you're really struggling to talk about them. I really hope you don't pull away and stop therapy.