Thank you for taking time to reply everyone, I appreciate it. I'm glad I inspire you FeelingHopeful I have been writing journal entries for few months on and off and every time I make a new one I can become more honest with myself and start to see my problems more clearly. I find that it is easier to write when I am feeling overwhelmed and frustrated because then I can be more upfront with my feelings and thoughts.

Brighid I have not been to a therapist yet, only my doctor who suggested that I try to find one. I know I should go but there is something holding me back from doing it, I'm not sure what it is yet but it is so much harder to change words into actions.

I understand where you are coming from Brometheus, at my work I have to work cashier sometimes and I hate having to deal with people. I usually get them in and out as quickly as possible with very little said. I also find it hard to smile even when I find things funny, I used to laugh and smile all the time, but now it feels difficult.

and thanks Open Eyes, I will check out some of your other posts.