I am stepping up, I am taking responsibility. When I cried I wouldn't let my Dad see so he would get worried. I haven't said anything to him about being scared. I know what I have to do, and I am going to do it, but not everyone can go through something and keep completely silent or completely unaffected. I'm not a person who just suffers in silence. I used to be, but the 50 counselors I've seen over my life have changed that. When I'm freaked out and scared I'm going to say so or else I'll never be able to calm down. All this goes to my anxiety because I have anxiety and I get triggered over things that other people don't think is a big deal, people have put me down and mocked me over it before.. but that doesn't mean it changes anything besides makes it worse.

And now, I wish I hadn't posted this topic in the first place.