She sounds similar to my father - I spent so many years trying to please him, blaming myself, feeling un-noticed, useless, worhtless etc... Although I believe he has an illness, he has depleted any goodwill that I had inside and I am now beyond caring (he would threaten me so much with "I am going to be dead in a few years so be nice to me", that at the age of 5 believing this, I actually dug a grave for him) - I do believe that he has an illness but now feel that is for him and my mothers to sort out - I have figured there are some lovely people in this world that I would like to spend time with - he is not one of them and I owe him nothing.