Quote:
Originally Posted by karebear1
It's so interesting to me zoo that your reactions to your T's phone calls and texts are the same mine have been. Gives me hope that I'm relatively normal after all. I actually avoided my T's call last week, I was afraid to pick up the phone when she called as well- I also missed appointments and a group meeting. That is sooooo out of character for me.
Do you even care if there are boundaries anymore? Personally, since this has happened, I really could care less about them anymore. I was uber respective of them before. I always have gone out of my way to try to make everyone around me feel comfortable etc.- but I don't care about that anymore.
I think, at 52, I might finally be going through my rebellious teen years! Were you ever a rebellious teen zoo???
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I was not a rebellious teen. At all. I think in some ways I am going through a kind of rebellion, and I guess that makes sense since there is a lot of transference going on with me in regards to my T and my relationship with my mother.
I absolutely have the feeling of not caring about Ts boundaries right now. It may not seem like it, but I have always been really careful and respectful of Ts boundaries. I never texted her until she started texting me. The same with email. I have never called her without feeling like I needed to, and it took many months of her telling me it was ok to call before I ever did it. Now that everything is so screwed up, though, and the boundaries are so murky I can't even see or feel them, I don't care. What about MY boundaries? What about what I can handle? What about MY NEEDS?
Quote:
Originally Posted by peaches100
Zooropa,
I'm sorry to hear how much pain you've been in lately. I can understand why you're feeling confused and even angry about the situation with your t. 
I'm wondering, though, if you're gonig to regret deleting your t's messages without knowing what they said? It may have been important information you need to hear. |
Peaches, I don't regret deleting the messages. That says a lot to me, because it is really out of character for me. I am the kind of person who is unable to not read emails or posts, even ones that i know will upset me. I am unable to ignore things, pretty much. So deleting those texts was out of character, and not wondering or caring what they said is too. I think it's a sign of how T feels unsafe to me and how any connection to her feels unsafe.
__________________
She left pieces of her life behind her everywhere she went.
"It's easier to feel the sunlight without them," she said.
~Brian Andreas