Sannah, I know that I'm missing unconditional love. Maybe that's the whole secret! I still feel good about my session; in fact, I feel better than I've felt in a long, long time!! I am so certain that my T is doing the right thing by letting me be physically close to her. I've craved that; I feel like she accepts all of me, not just my words, but my physical self.

I'm trying to figure out why the session was so good and how I can duplicate that, but I don't know if there's an answer. My T will probably say because I risked more. I also think I was totally present with her and I didn't censor anything I wanted to say. But it was also the way SHE responded to me, with total acceptance. The hug at the end was so nice. I never used to feel comfortable hugging people, but it felt so right with her. I'm sorry if this makes you feel bad, Poetgirl. All my other Ts agreed with yours about not hugging me. My T may be a little innocent and inexperienced but that works for me.

learning: I think it IS happening to me already, where I'm at least holding on to the good feelings I am experiencing with my T, and starting to try feeling them in RL. I've asked my H and friends for hugs; I never used to do that. I'm trying to get some of my needs met in RL. I know it's never going to be as good as it is with my T, but I feel like I'm internalizing her caring. At least after this session, I have this warm feeling inside of me, and it's not making me feel needy, just good. Of course, if someone told me I'd have to quit therapy today, or if something happened to my T, I'd be very very sad. But the feelings inside of me won't ever go away. She's given me so much in just over a year; it's making me cry again.