Thanks for piping in everybody with your experiences. I guess I'm not alone in having trouble processing trauma.

What bothers me is that my t has said that by addressing the traumas, the level of pain will decrease. But that has not happened with me. My t says we need to titrate the trauma work by only allowing a small amount of pain to come out. . .but i can't usually control how much pain comes out. If i pass my limit of coping, then i break down and can't stop crying for the rest of the session. then i feel the effects the rest of the day, and sometimes into the following day or so. I feel exhausted after we do the trauma work, and depressed and have trouble dealing with my normal life.

Each time the trauma work is too overwhelming to me, we go back to building DBT and other coping skills. But sooner or later, we're back in the same place, trying to process my traumas. And it just isn't getting any easier or lessening the pain.

Lately, between the misunderstandings i keep having with my t, the huge struggle i have with separations, and how i can't seem to process past my traumas, i feel like a therapy failure. I'm afraid i've come as far as i can in therapy, and i can't change anything else. I feel like i should quit and accept that i'll just have to live with what's left of my issues for the remainder of my life. I've already been in therapy for years now, and maybe there is no possibility of real healing for me.

I emailed my t to let her know i feel this way -- that maybe i've done all i can do and i'm just wasting her time now. She replied that she's seen some progress, and also that some people just can't process past trauma. She told me it's long, slow work, etc. But she also said if i think i've come as far as i can with this therapy method, that there are other methods out there, and she told me of a colleague of hers that uses Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

I don't want to leave my t. I'm way too attached. But i feel like a hopeless case. I know my t is going to retire soon, and she told me one of the reasons she has stayed is because of me -- she wants to get farther with me before she goes. But I'm afraid i'll never get there. I feel like I'm just holding her back and draining her.

I don't know what to do.