Is Trauma Processing Helpful or Just Pain?

I have a question for those of you who have done trauma processing via EMDR or in other ways. Just how helpful is it? I've tried doing EMDR with my therapist several times, and have also tried to just process trauma by talking about it. What I have found is that it has not been helpful. All it has done is bring up all of the old pain i had stored inside me.

My t has given me coping skills i can use to tolerate the pain. But my question is, Why even bring up the trauma/pain if all that happens is that you feel awful and have to use all sorts of skills just to contain or endure it? Isn't it better to just focus on the good things in life?

My t has indicated to me that by facing and addressing my traumas, over time i will find some relief from the pain. But this has not happened for me. On the one hand, t says i need to process the traumas because i keep getting triggered over and over in the present when things remind me of the past. Then i overreact and resort to dissociation or other means of coping that no longer works for the present day. So i can see why i need to work through the traumas. But I'm just not seeing the silver lining. It all just feels re-traumatizing and awful.

Does it get easier? I don't know if i want to keep doing this if all it is is pain. . .

personally, that technique hasn't worked well for me, although I know it has for a lot of others here. I was getting too overwhelmed and unstable when I try remembering and/or talking about stuff and it was really hurting me. It took a long hospitalization and a different group of experts to tell me that this was not a good way for me to go. So I process symptoms, learn to handle the symptoms as they come up, and try to keep a wide space between me and my past. Yea I know it's there...big and ugly...but I don't have to look at it or touch I am learning how to live around it.
Like I said many others have been helped by processing the trauma, and I don't mean to downplay that at all, its a big brave incredible thing to do. I am just pointing out that there is a different school of thought.

It is not helpful for me either. My therapist says there is too much trauma in my past to process it all anyway. We do a little bit, but it's too much.

You have to do what is right for you. If the pain which is stored inside, isn't causing problems in your life, I say.......don't do anything which would bring it up.

For me personally ive not done well with it. BUT everyone deals with things differently.

My experience doing trauma work is pretty well documented in my posts here. I'm not sure it was helpful for me. It was very certainly more painful than I ever imagined it would be. I'm not sure I would do it again if I could go back. Probably not. I can't see a lot, if any, benefit I got from it. Seems like, for me, it did more harm than good.

Wow, I'm a bit scared reading these replies. I've just started doing trauma work - 2 sessions ago - and I'm only forcing myself to do it because I'm hoping that eventually life will get easier if I do. The thought of it not helping at all or making things worse is very scary! Peaches have you told your t how you're feeling?

I've done some trauma processing, but my t had us move on fairly quickly. He is of the belief that going over and over the trauma generally is retraumatizing. Instead, we work on the present, referencing the past as it applies to what is going on in the here and now. For me, what is important is that I recognize how old messages I learned in the past still affect me today and that I learn how to counter those old messages so I don't keep falling into the same old holes of belief.

I've never done trauma work per se. In fact, I'm not even sure what that is. My story came out in bits and bits, and we spend a lot of time focusing on now.

I can't remember a single session where all we did was talk about the past and what happened to me.

It's just a tool to help me understand where I am right now. It was all so gradual.

That doesn't mean that there weren't times in therapy when I was miserable - there certainly were, but I never felt re-traumatized. Quite the opposite actually. De-traumatized might be a better term.

EMDR was NEVER helpful for me... but it is contraindicated for people with DID i believe. My old T didn't know that though. That made things a lot harder for me.

I am working with a trauma T and we do a LOT of processing of the trauma, and it is actually helpful for me. It is REALLY hard work. Painful a lot of times. But she is really good and comforting, and that helps a lot. It also helps that we have really long sessions (sometimes as much as 4 hours at a time) so if something gets stirred up a lot, we have time to calm down. I think that makes a BIG difference. If I were in just the regular 50 minute or 90 minute session type therapy, NO i definitely would not find it helpful.

There's a book by babette rothschild, a expert in trauma and one of the chapters of "8 keys to processing trauma" it is called "Remembering is not necessary". It was the first time I heard of such a thing. I was actually relieved when I read that, because all trauma work has caused me is more trauma.

I don't think I've ever done "trauma work" either. I've told my story, in bits and pieces, over the time that I've seen T. It's always related somehow to the here and now...even if the only way it's related is that I'm being haunted by flashbacks or whatever.

For me, telling my story has been hugely helpful. To finally, finally, FINALLY be heard and believed and to finally, finally not be alone with the things that happened is huge. Getting that story out has opened up some space inside for the good things.

Was it painful? Yes, totally. Almost unbearably sometimes. And it still can be. But so worth it.

I'm not sure what "trauma work" is, so I'm not sure if this is helpful. But telling my story and finding out that someone can *know* and not think I am the most icky, dirty, worthless person ever has been a huge, huge deal. I know, even in hard times like now, that it's helping me heal.

Do you remember the traumatic event? If you don't have clear memories of what happened, then I don't think "trauma work" is a good idea. I have done trauma work and it has helped me. I very rarely ever have flashbacks now. I can finally move on from it. You don't have to get stuck in the pain. I never found it to be all that painful because I had the skills to cope by the time we started the processing. It was more painful holding it all inside for years.

I'm trying to find something positive to say about trauma work, because I think there are positive things about it and I hate the idea of someone reading this thread and being scared off the whole idea.

What Tay said about flashbacks...I guess I do have fewer now. I know I had a lot more during the time that I was processing the trauma. It's hard to remember what it was like before but...I think that yes, I probably have fewer flashbacks. I sleep better, most of the time. I have less fear, less anxiety, most of the time.

My perceptions of my own trauma work are clouded by the rupture I'm going through with my T right now, but I hope that others will post about the positive aspects, because I know there are some.

i went to a training by someone heavily influenced by babette rothschild and she said the same thing. peter levine is also in that camp. i think he said that most trauma work being done is at best useless and at worst re-traumatizing (im paraphrasing)...that was a real eye-opener for me!

im not emdr trained, but as it was explained to me by an expert, it comes in three phases....resourcing, trauma processing and trauma integration. at that training, the woman stated that most people stop at the resourcing....for most people, thats good enough. they dont go on.

resourcing is when the client and therapist work to build coping skills and recognize triggers and when its working well, the client starts to feel able to handle things that may come up and builds confidence in their ability to bring themselves back from a flashback or engage their parasympathetic nervous system when they get into fight/flight/freeze mode or just plain recognize that they arent actually experiencing the trauma presently when they feel triggered.

its the most important part of trauma work. i dont know that a lot of therapists spend enough time with it....its a big deal.

ok. Great topic! I want to share my answers in points because it is easier for me that way to be clear. This is just my personal experience.

1) My level of trauma was severe. Borderline critical at times due to threat to life and lives of others. It began from the time I was an infant and lasted until I was 27.

2) My DX is Complex PTSD with DID.

3) People seeing me on the outside often have no idea at all the level of trauma I had (they are shocked when I share just the "smallest" bit with them).

4) Now, I share all this because I do think that the level of trauma may impact how healing trauma work can be for a person.

a) In my case, the trauma was such a HUGE part of my past that the "good" of living was not even known to me growing up. The only thing I knew about life at all was how painful it was.

b) The "good" that I did find in life was usually my mind using dissociation to wall-off the pain in order to function and remain alive. While this works when the trauma is going on, it is not a healthy way to live. For me, it was not authentic joy at all.

5) I spent time in my 20's going to a college T - was "forced" to go after the sudden passing of my fiancee. During that time, I was still in a "relationship" with a primary abuser. My college T could not do anything to "rescue" me from that situation, but he knew I was in very deep pain. So all he could do was get me to come see him so he could make sure I was "ok" and could go to classes.

That college T spent hours with me in silence. He got enough out of me to realize that the level of trauma was too deep for him to work on with me, and I was not at a safe place to do that work. He told me these things. So his focus was on helping me get skills to stay alive and be able to survive until I was able to escape my last abuser. His focus was on what they call the "stabalization" phase of trauma healing. And that took YEARS.

He told me when I left college "Your mind will need to process through these things. But don't rush it. It will do it when IT is ready to do it. When that happens, this is what it may feel like to you ..... " "When that happens, call me or go find a therapist who specializes in trauma."

6) I spent 10 years after college in a very wonderful state of finally being free from all my abusers and being able to build my own foundation under my feet. I still had DID and PTSD, but I wasn't in obvious pain. Deep down, I was still very wounded, but I was doing very well.

7) One day a couple years ago, I started to experience crying at work. The work had picked up stress, but it was more than that. As things got worse, I realized I needed help and did what my college T told me to do - I went out and found a T who specialized in trauma therapy and PTSD.

For me, I didn't have a choice on doing trauma work, my brain saw I was on a solid foundation - I was SAFE (no more chance of being tossed onto the streets and being homeless or starving to death - both real threats in the truama past) so my brain finally said "NOW I can get through this!"

Our brains are like animals. We can't and won't process through trauma until we are at a safe enough place to do so. It does more harm for a person to try to force the brain to deal with the past if it is not ready. When the brain is ready, it is like giving birth to a child - that baby is going to come - like it or not!

Because my T knew how to do trauma work for me, I didn't have to do in-patient. I used PC as a major support. And I went on short-term disability from work for a while. I saw my T three to four times a week when doing the trauma work. My life STOPPED. There was no way I could have worked while processing through all that stuff.

When it was almost done, I was able to get back to work. It has been hard because it felt like major surgery inside. And I still have some bits that have to be worked through. But I finally have a freedom that I deserved.

For me, trauma work was not a choice any more than it was my choice to have those things done to me. It stunk. It was NOT FAIR. And it was criminal I had to experience trauma and the resultant trauma healing.

But I made it through. And now (forty years later) I can finally have the life that should have been mine from the time I was a child.

Trauma work seriously screwed me up. I did CBT with a T that only worked with SA survivors... That helped. She gave me skills for managing flashbacks and body memories until they gave up and stopped haunting me. My current T knows I have "significant abuse" in my past because it is in my psych eval but she will not talk to me about it unless I am having flashbacks or body memories again. Heck even the last time I had a flashback she asked how I felt about the whole thing, I said they have gotten kind of old... I tell them to shut up and I went back to sleep... She said we didn't need to talk about it then. I also did a lot of work outside of therapy though... Like learning to trust men again with the help of the priest at my college... Just someone safe who knew I was scared and may act funny because of it who let me move close then run the he!! away as much as I needed. However... I think if we just leave it be and work around the trauma it stays in our bodies causing physical illness. So... I work with a massage T who knows a lot about therapy, has a lot of experience with trauma survivors, does massage and body work. Her work is SO awesome!!! She will be working someplace on my body and a memory comes up. She knows it weather I say anything or not because she can feel it in how my body is responding to her. The memories are always faint/vague and never overwhelming. I can tell her the memory or not it doesn't matter... Then... it just fades out and is gone! some memories have to come up a few times before they let go but there is never and "drama". I can talk about any of my trauma experiences and how they have impacted me now without triggering or getting upset. I have even talked about my abuse history to classes of people learning how to work with traumatized kids. I have also met with a diagnostician and we talked extensively about my past to rule it out of my ASD. She was SO impressed with the work that was done and even said I no longer meet the criteria for PTSD! All that being said... trauma work DOES work for some but not all. If it is not working for you I suggest looking into other options... there are a lot of them out there especially if you will "work outside the box".

my T just started talking to me about trama and reading this is scaring me totally.she said she knows how hard it is to talk and how much it all hurts but that the rewards are worth it.that i wont be alone with it anymore she will be thare.that i wont freeze when scared by someone,i will be able to comfortably interact with others,etc....not sure i buy it now at all.i told her one little part of something and it made thigs so bad.i couldnt sleep,had small panic attacks etc..I dont know.it didnt make me feel better or not alone it made me feel more alone than ever

I don't think I could add to what Treehouse said. This above all I guess >> Getting that story out has opened up some space inside for the good things.

I do see a difference in myself, T does much more so from what I am hearing. Peaches I'm sorry it hurts so much. I do believe there is healing beyond it.

I've had situations like Wepow speaks of:
deadly weapons-used on me and around me, several times held against will, mother trying to kill herself in front of us, sexual abuse when captive, to name a few..... all as a child.

but... I never had a time when things were going well, I mean as an adult. I've never held a job long, never have had friends, never trusted others, dissociated too much(ugh, I hate that.. it's embarrassing)

anyway...

what Dr. Muffin said on this -- is what is steering me towards some healing.(IMO)
THIS is what I work on with T. all the time now--coping skills, recognizing triggers
.... the walls around me now have some windows to which I can see out --- maybe someday there will be a door ....

I don't think working in therapy with trauma does any good if one doesn't have, and USE the coping skills and also recognize triggers --
the grasping of those two things- I believe to be the road to a better life.

fins

(((((Purplefins)))))

Thanks for piping in everybody with your experiences. I guess I'm not alone in having trouble processing trauma.

What bothers me is that my t has said that by addressing the traumas, the level of pain will decrease. But that has not happened with me. My t says we need to titrate the trauma work by only allowing a small amount of pain to come out. . .but i can't usually control how much pain comes out. If i pass my limit of coping, then i break down and can't stop crying for the rest of the session. then i feel the effects the rest of the day, and sometimes into the following day or so. I feel exhausted after we do the trauma work, and depressed and have trouble dealing with my normal life.

Each time the trauma work is too overwhelming to me, we go back to building DBT and other coping skills. But sooner or later, we're back in the same place, trying to process my traumas. And it just isn't getting any easier or lessening the pain.

Lately, between the misunderstandings i keep having with my t, the huge struggle i have with separations, and how i can't seem to process past my traumas, i feel like a therapy failure. I'm afraid i've come as far as i can in therapy, and i can't change anything else. I feel like i should quit and accept that i'll just have to live with what's left of my issues for the remainder of my life. I've already been in therapy for years now, and maybe there is no possibility of real healing for me.

I emailed my t to let her know i feel this way -- that maybe i've done all i can do and i'm just wasting her time now. She replied that she's seen some progress, and also that some people just can't process past trauma. She told me it's long, slow work, etc. But she also said if i think i've come as far as i can with this therapy method, that there are other methods out there, and she told me of a colleague of hers that uses Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

I don't want to leave my t. I'm way too attached. But i feel like a hopeless case. I know my t is going to retire soon, and she told me one of the reasons she has stayed is because of me -- she wants to get farther with me before she goes. But I'm afraid i'll never get there. I feel like I'm just holding her back and draining her.

I don't know what to do.

((((peaches)))) You aren't a failure...your past, your pain...it isn't your fault. Everyone processes differently ... I know what it's like to feel like a lost cause, I am there all the time... but don't give up hope. If there is no hope for you then there isn't any for me either...all I can tell you is to keep reaching out for help because it isn't over until we give up. (I need to listen to my own advice here...because I am in the "giving up" frame of mind these days)

I am 33, been in therapy for 17 years and am just now, after many many different therapists and types of therapy, finding the healing I have sought. There is no such thing as a lost cause and the only people that can fail at therapy are therapists IMO.

Just want to say that I understand you on this. I dont know how to control how much pain comes out either. Its like floodgates just open up. I don't understand it when therapists say "we'll just process a little bit of it". WHAT? Like how are you supposed to stop it?
Anyway, just want you to know that you're not alone and I bet that there are many, many more people who feel this way also.