I think you have done the first part, accidentally in noticing what happens with you and the space. You are an adult so good attachment to a care-giver (parent) is not something that is going to happen or where much can be gained in thinking about what was, what did/did not happen with one's parents. You now know you really like your kitchen "too much" So, you move out of your comfort zone and learn to better support yourself in "strange" situations. One cannot get better at something (being out and about in strange situations) without practice in doing just that; it's like meeting people, you cannot get good at it, the small talk and initial dialog and figuring out how to give and take and decide what you "want" from interaction with another, without practicing it over and over.

I would "experiment" with being out of your kitchen and see how it feels. I would ask a friend if we could bake cookies together in her kitchen, maybe, see what that felt like.

My mother died when I was 3 and for a year my father sometimes had to find a care giver for me at the last moment because he had to go to work and my brothers were all in school, etc. When he remarried when I was 5, my stepmother started taking me everywhere with her but I didn't know her either! Think about it; she'd take me to her brothers' families and leave me with my new "cousins" for the day because she had to do something she couldn't do with me along. I was left in strange circumstances wondering if someone might/might not come back for me? That had been the pattern for most of my life (my mother had not been able to care for me consistently since I was 18 months old or so). So what happened in "adult" life?

When I was a teen, babysitting for neighbors/family friends made me really uncomfortable. I only realized in the last 10 years that it is because I have to go to other people's homes and I'm uncomfortable in other people's homes because they're not "mine" and I might be "stuck" there the rest of my life, no one coming to get me! Today, I am uncomfortable in my stepson's/daughter-in-law's house with the grandchildren! When we go babysit, I only go if my husband is going with me, we babysit together. I "could" go babysit alone but would be really uncomfortable.

However, knowing what I know about myself makes a lot of difference! I know it is just based on my childhood experience (which isn't happening now) so not a "true" situation. I am actually fine and, when necessary, can "be" fine, my adult self can easily override my child self. That is the object for me, not to become comfortable in other people's houses but to understand myself and be able to respond appropriately to other people when in their houses. Yes, if I were dropped off at a stranger's house for the day I'd be more anxious than many other people, I could deal with it because I have defused the trigger (understand the situation so it isn't some unknown something that might get me in real time).

You understand now about you and your kitchen :-) Maybe explore why the kitchen (instead of your bedroom or the corner of your living room where the computer is or some other spot) and get to the bottom of your memories. Did what attachment your mother afforded happen in the kitchen?

My stepmother use to bring a banana when she had to pick me up from school or an activity where I hadn't had a chance for a snack between lunch and dinner; I mostly remember her bringing one every time she picked me up from college to take me home for the weekends. Consequently, I'm very fond of bananas :-) They are comforting to me, make me feel "safe" and cared for.