My name is Alice and i am 16. I may be posting this in the wrong place, i hope that won't make everyone mad at me. I'm sorry.

I've had a pretty crazy life and now my dad is, it think, emotionally abusing me. I'm failing almost all my classes, i can't find the motivation to do anything 'productive' like my dad tells me to. I don't do my homework but always to great on tests.

My dad yells at me and tells me that i'm a failure, that i've set myself up to have a horrible future. He tells me that i smell, that i'm not as smart as i should be even thought i have 'potential'. My mom is usually nice, but sometimes she gets really upset and tells me that i didn't ever turn out the way she wanted me to and that i wasn't the child she had envisioned when i was born.

Everyone is always angry at me and things are always being taken from me because of my grades that i just can't get back up...

I haven't played a video game at for three years, my computer time is now only for homework, i'm not allowed to see any of my friends, and now the only thing that lets me have a social life is my cellphone which i only got nine months ago and it's a hand-me-down phone from my grandma. He's going to take that away now and i'm going to be all alone. My dad has scared off some of my best friends and now almost no one wants to come over to my house.

I try to tell people to type it out on Facebook to find help but dad finds out and gets angry at me and tells me i'm slandering him and that he's never done anything wrong that it's only my and it's all my fault and everything bad that's happened to me is because of me. No one likes me anymore and i feel like nobody loves me. I don't understand. I'm in Choir, Orchestra, Chinese, and all these others classes that i understand but... I just can't get myself to do anything. I don't do drugs, i don't drink, i'm a virgin, and i've never had a boyfriend even though i really like someone.

I have cut myself. A while ago, i cut myself on my thigh and now i have scars on my leg and spell out the word 'FAIL'. Recently, the only thing i can think of is how much i want it all to end and how much i wish i could just disappear without anyone missing me. I just want to die quietly and be gone without causing an uproar. I want to die so my parents can adopt the child they have always wanted and no longer worry about their failure of a daughter.

I want to die, but i wish that i didn't. If i don't find any light soon, i'm just going to let it go - even if i did regret not living a full life for my friends and family, but now, i'm slowly starting to care less and less about it.

Please, i need help. I don't know what to do. There are things i'm not allowed to do that would help me - but i'm banned from doing most of it. You may immediately scratch 'Listen to Music', 'Take a walk', and 'Phone a friend' off this list.