Please help me

My name is Alice and i am 16. I may be posting this in the wrong place, i hope that won't make everyone mad at me. I'm sorry.

I've had a pretty crazy life and now my dad is, it think, emotionally abusing me. I'm failing almost all my classes, i can't find the motivation to do anything 'productive' like my dad tells me to. I don't do my homework but always to great on tests.

My dad yells at me and tells me that i'm a failure, that i've set myself up to have a horrible future. He tells me that i smell, that i'm not as smart as i should be even thought i have 'potential'. My mom is usually nice, but sometimes she gets really upset and tells me that i didn't ever turn out the way she wanted me to and that i wasn't the child she had envisioned when i was born.

Everyone is always angry at me and things are always being taken from me because of my grades that i just can't get back up...

I haven't played a video game at for three years, my computer time is now only for homework, i'm not allowed to see any of my friends, and now the only thing that lets me have a social life is my cellphone which i only got nine months ago and it's a hand-me-down phone from my grandma. He's going to take that away now and i'm going to be all alone. My dad has scared off some of my best friends and now almost no one wants to come over to my house.

I try to tell people to type it out on Facebook to find help but dad finds out and gets angry at me and tells me i'm slandering him and that he's never done anything wrong that it's only my and it's all my fault and everything bad that's happened to me is because of me. No one likes me anymore and i feel like nobody loves me. I don't understand. I'm in Choir, Orchestra, Chinese, and all these others classes that i understand but... I just can't get myself to do anything. I don't do drugs, i don't drink, i'm a virgin, and i've never had a boyfriend even though i really like someone.

I have cut myself. A while ago, i cut myself on my thigh and now i have scars on my leg and spell out the word 'FAIL'. Recently, the only thing i can think of is how much i want it all to end and how much i wish i could just disappear without anyone missing me. I just want to die quietly and be gone without causing an uproar. I want to die so my parents can adopt the child they have always wanted and no longer worry about their failure of a daughter.

I want to die, but i wish that i didn't. If i don't find any light soon, i'm just going to let it go - even if i did regret not living a full life for my friends and family, but now, i'm slowly starting to care less and less about it.

Please, i need help. I don't know what to do. There are things i'm not allowed to do that would help me - but i'm banned from doing most of it. You may immediately scratch 'Listen to Music', 'Take a walk', and 'Phone a friend' off this list.

Hi Waters, welcome to PC. Sounds like your parents aren't realizing that if what they are doing isn't working that more of the same isn't going to work either.

There is a way of dealing with people called the Strengths Perspective. With this, a person recognizes another's strengths not their weaknesses. If a person focuses on another's weaknesses this causes a downward spiral. If you focus on their strengths it causes an upward spiral because the person feels good about themselves instead of bad. They can mention weaknesses but don't focus on them more then the strengths.

I hope to support you here........

Thank you Sannah, and everyone here can just call me Alice. I won't mind at all. And my parents don't seem to have that logical reasoning...

I see... This is an interesting concept... But- How am i able to get my dad to think this way? He doesn't listen to me at all, my voice doesn't matter here - it's like i'm mute.

I'm glad i have your support, it's very much appreciated...

Can you give him something to read? If so, I can find something for you to print off.

I could try that. Could you please send me something? I really would like my dad to know what he is really doing...

It's hard when your parents are unsupportive and invalidating. I'm sorry it's tough for you right now. Please don't cut yourself....I promise you will come to regret it! The scars I have from cutting leave nothing but shame and the relief cutting provides is temporary. Could you work out some kind of contract with your parents...like they list their expectations and consequences and you list your expectations and ability to regain lost privileges when the expectations are met so you guys can find common ground? Sometimes putting it in writing takes some of the emotion out of the situation and allows you to understand each other better.
Is there a school counselor you can meet with? I'm sorry your parents aren't more understanding. I think Sannah has a good idea, when she gives you the link, let your dad read it or maybe I can try to find some information on the topic. If I find it, I'll post it for you. Hang in there! You are doing the right thing in reaching out, Welcome to PC

http://homepages.wmich.edu/~weinreic/SWRK350/TheoryLearningObject/strengths.html

http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife...hs-perspective

I found two links, hopefully Sannah has more info.

Alice, you are a beautiful person, from what you say. I went through a simmilar thing(a long time ago). I was a virgin till i was 20, and i'm glad of that(i'm glad i waited). If i were you i'd sit tight, sit tight till you get can get out of there. You , like myself (may) love your parents, but "you" have a life to lead ( and its only just begun ), and your parents sound like control freaks( sometimes alice parents do things they don't mean, or they do things they think whats in the best for you when really its themselfs they think about). When you are ready, "leave" and "live" your "life". Music eh,, cool. Also listen to your inner soul, in school, you may want to do well for yourself, NOT YOUR PARENTS. Upon reflection, i wish i did better(ah well i can't have everything). In many years to come alice, you may look back and see just why all these things happend, sometimes parents dont know the damage they do out of love. I hope this helps and i wish you well. sanada.

I wasn't here all weekend. Tomorrow I will look for something for you......