Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauru
I have been calling my T the last couple of days. Everything has gone to hell. I am having "those" thoughts again. I want to drink and cut and more. I am trying so hard. I told my T I am having bad thoughts and want to drink and stuff. When I went to my pdoc appt. he was going to give me Ativan, which I have abused before. I told him that if he gives it to me, I will take it all and drink and just, in general, get blitzed. My T was proud of me for telling the pdoc about the Ativan. Although now I am starting to regret it. I love my T. I hope I can make it till next week. It is getting harder and harder to fake it. I can only be my real self in T where I don;'t have to hide the depression and anxiety.
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Hey Lauru,
(((massive hugs))) I am glad your therapist has been able to support you and I think it's great that even though you feel the very strong urges to harm yourself that you were able to stand back from the situation and act in your best interests by telling the Pdoc about the Ativan and the chances you would abuse it again, that cannot have been easy when feeling the way you do.
When is your next appointment with your T?
I also feel like the only place I am real is either on my own or with my T, so I can relate to that very much!
