Quote:
Originally Posted by lynn P.
You need to trust your instincts swimjim - sure sometimes one partner needs a little nudge to make the final committment but not an ultimatum. It takes a certain type to give one and usually they will use that technique when they want their way again in other problems.
Marriage and engagement should be a joyful time where both people are certain. She wanted a wedding in August but you weren't even engaged yet lol. Usually a couple gets engaged, then they discuss dates. If she does a 180 and decides to back off but still be a couple, then you might reconsider getting back together. The problem is, she feels she's ready for marriage and that will continue to be a factor in the relationship. If you're not ready, that's okay. Unfortuantely when a person gives an utimatum, it doesn't leave much room for 'in betweens'.
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Thanks lynn. You have been a great help. There is also her 15 year old daughter to consider also. The daughter never had a father. The father told my girlfriend or ex that he did not want children 15 plus years ago. She was living with him. Instead of finding someone who wanted children, she told me that she got pregnant by him anyway because she was 34 and felt that she could not find anyone else. That was kind of a red flag for me.