I'm in a really bad place right now...My kids just went back with their mom, and I won't get to see them for another 2 weeks. I don't know how I feel about this. I had them this weekend, but I've felt so crappy I've tried to play outside with them and tried to be a good father for them but it's just getting so hard for me to do anything anymore. We spent alot of time playing sports and tag and different games this weekend, but the majority of the time I spent laying in bed while they played video games and watched movies. Of course I'm still providing for them and everything, like feeding them and everything, but I feel like such a worthless father for not spending that much time with them. Half of me is relieved to see them go, but the other half misses them dearly. I just...ugh I don't know, I'm so depressed and I feel so hopeless and worthless and everything. I don't know how much more I can take. I'm so lonely, I can't talk to anyone about my feelings so I figured I'd just throw it up here on PC. I don't know why. I haven't seen my pdoc in about 3 months nor my therapist in probably longer. No insurance, but I don't even know if I want to keep fighting anymore. Every minute is just a constant struggle. I have no job, no money, no friends, no real support system anymore, I'm afraid if I tell my pdoc or someone I'll be put back in the hospital, then my ex wife will try to take my kids away from me...I don't really know what I am asking for in this post, nor what can help...Sorry for my incoherant rambling. Maybe it's just time...