Ugh, here again. Been lonely and stupid lately, so I thought if I started talking to new people, new guys, and do a bit of flirting it would go away. You know, forget a lost love by getting a new one? Well it was fine all up until this other girl came, and he kept telling me he didn't wanna talk to her for blah blah blah. That went on for a little while, until suddenly ignoring stopped and he started flirting with her too. I don't know what happened but it was as if my heart stopped for a second, and when it restarted I felt that hurt again. I'm not really interested in him at all, so maybe it's because cheating has been the big thing to get over. But.. For something as small as that to make my mood go from good and them plummet down to depressive heartache again.. It's obvious that even after 7 months I am not ready.

So when am I going to be ready? In 20 years? Never? It was hard enough already without any past relationship issues because I had problems with how I grew up.. Now I'm hurt even without getting emotionally attached. I only knew the guy for 3 days for heaven sake!! I can spend months not talking to the ex, months not thinking about it, weeks letting new people into my life, and it makes no difference. I'm doomed.