I guess at this point her words are just words to me, they don't have a lot of meaning. It is helpful, though, for me to hear other people's interpretations because I can get so caught up in looking at things one way and forget to sort of step back and look at it from a different perspective.

but in the end, yes, it really only matters what I think and feel about it. I have heard these same words from my T time and again, and I'm not sure if I have seen the actions that make the words real. In this moment, right now, I can't remember if she has actually done anything contradictory or if it only FEELS contradictory because I don't like it. I am just smashed up tight against this and can't get a feel for the bigger picture.