Rainbow, by sharing difficult times from your life with your T, you can become very close to her, and share emotional intimacy, camraderie, caring, etc. You can have all these things without having to talk about you and her. You seem to want that intimacy--you can have it and still focus on the other problems in session, like about those early experiences with your brother. Maybe if you knew this can lead to intimacy, it would help you "give up" the focus on your T all the time. Just a thought. My T and I do not talk about "us" very often, and we are super close.