In all of that, what do you have the power to change right now?

The voices, all can you do in this moment is ground yourself and focus on your own thought/voice. Play music, watch TV, a movie, etc and remind yourself you are in control.

You can stop coming up with new ways to SI. Force yourself to look up 100 ways to self soothe, and make a list of those that you like and can use.

I'm assuming T will not be texting, though we may be in different time zones. So maybe write down the text you would hope T would send you in this moment which is to be written kindly and supportive.

Come up with a life plan. What do you want a year from now? That will give you some direction, and then come up with HOW to do that. That will give you what to look forward to.

Validated? That this sucks right now? It does. Validated that you are a strong, competent, hard working person? You are. Have you been a victim? Yes. Does that mean you are one or need to be one today, no. You can choose to do something different today.

Now... My strong encouragement is (as to it is to my clients) when you ask for help, you have to be willing to receive it and do what has been offered. Whether that's what I have said or a crisis line, or whoever. You have to be willing to do what is stated without saying "Yes but..." and then not follow through. Please try these things and utilize some self care.