I talked about what I wanted to in my session yesterday! At first I thought I was going to waste the session but I didn't. She started asking me about the parts who couldn't say the words, but I said it was better if I just "jumped in" instead. This was about anatomy words and growing up stuff.

Actually, it was a letdown because it was easier to talk than I thought. I didn't have to hide under the pillows or close my eyes. T and I just had a "conversation" and I looked at her most of the time. I like looking in her eyes. Afterwards she told me that she respects me for all the hard work I'm doing in therapy!! I feel connected to her even though the session wasn't about my relationship with her. That's for you, sunrise. I feel close to her because of sharing what I did. I didn't ask to hold her hand and I told her I wasn't going to hug her because I've had a sore throat all week. But it was okay!

I still sort of wish I'd have some big emotional breakdown with her but maybe that's just one of my fantasies I have to give up. The reality is almost as good anyway.