I did it!!

I talked about what I wanted to in my session yesterday! At first I thought I was going to waste the session but I didn't. She started asking me about the parts who couldn't say the words, but I said it was better if I just "jumped in" instead. This was about anatomy words and growing up stuff.

Actually, it was a letdown because it was easier to talk than I thought. I didn't have to hide under the pillows or close my eyes. T and I just had a "conversation" and I looked at her most of the time. I like looking in her eyes. Afterwards she told me that she respects me for all the hard work I'm doing in therapy!! I feel connected to her even though the session wasn't about my relationship with her. That's for you, sunrise. I feel close to her because of sharing what I did. I didn't ask to hold her hand and I told her I wasn't going to hug her because I've had a sore throat all week. But it was okay!

I still sort of wish I'd have some big emotional breakdown with her but maybe that's just one of my fantasies I have to give up. The reality is almost as good anyway.

Good for you!! Thats great news!!

I am curious though, how come you want to have a big emotional meltdown with her? I do understand the feeling but I wonder what that's about?

That is great!

Great, rainbow. So glad it went well. As you know, I have similar feelings and struggles, so I hope one day soon I can do as well as you!

Ah, very good!! Sounds like you were acting like an adult with her. See, it can be rewarding! Sounds like your fantasies are from the inner child?

Oh Rainbow that is so excellent! Isn't it just a rush when you accomplish something you were so very afraid of doing? rRmember this feeling you have right now so that the next time you have anxiety over an issue, you have something to compare it to. That's what I ahve to do- it's the only way I move forward. I'm so happy for you Rainbow!!!!

good work rainbow!

Great Rainbow. You did intense work it sounds like, and it ended fairly well. I'm proud of you

i am so glad you were able to feel clost to your T without even talking about your relationship. what sunrise said seems like it can be so true.it really hit home for me also.i dont feel i need to talk about our relationship at all with my T but hope to feel close and trusting with her someday.you are such an inspiration rain.sending big love

((((Rainbow)))))

The honesty you were able to have in session is adult intamacy. Way to go!!!!