You said that he lied about being a virgin, which is a big deal but I think he needs to understand why he did it? You also said the last time was at 12 which is pretty young? Perhaps he was embarrassed about it? HE needs to figure out why the lie seemed like a better idea than the truth though.
Also, I would suggest that you sit down together (if you plan to stay together) and discuss what you feel are appropriate boundaries for both of you. Where my bf and I started on this was with the main point of
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Not to do or say anything we wouldn't want the other person to hear or see (or read)
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To explain that, say I'm sitting on my computer talking to an old classmate. This classmate says something that I don't know whether is ok or not. I will imagine that my bf is sitting beside me and ask (in my imagination) "bf, are you ok with that? What kind of response are you comfortable with?" And he would do the same thing.
He seems to be acting in secrecy which is another concern. He allowed the facebook friend back after being deleted. That's another boundary I've established. If I feel like I should keep something a secret (aside from like bday presents etc) than maybe I need to think about why I don't want bf to know about it.
He is allowed to pick up my phone at any point in time (I use it more than my computer) and do whatever he likes on it. There's nothing on there that I believe would upset him.
The thing with the list, is that it's not about quantity. If you have 4 things on your list and feel passionately about them and they are enough for you to say "yes, this is right for me" than that's ok. But if those 4 are all you could think of and it feels like it's not enough, maybe it's not.
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i no my problem of not keeping relationship long i always levae them after 3 months bc thats when i start to see a red flag. and i get scared and run. and everything that you predicted of me was the truth. like i do have problems with intamacy and i do flee when i get closer. i do fall way too fast. and i do find my self attracted only to the guys my family dont like. i just dont know what else to do bc im more then 8 hours away fro home and i hated there to begin with..idk im just scared now what do i do
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So in this relationship you have done much better for 10 months than your normal 3. Is that why you are jumping into the commitment of marriage?
Have you seen a T about the CSAb/intimacy issues?
You say that you are 8 hours from home, does that mean you are living with him? Is he rushing to get married? Is there a third option of where you could live so as not to stay with your parents or the fiance? -Close friend, aunt, etc?