I don't even know how I feel today.
I feel sad that I was let go from my job and it didn't work out.
I put so much time into learning everything there.
What was it for? I don't even know.

Now I am back to cleaning the apartment.
We have so much stuff and I wish my partner could get rid of some of her stuff. I clean and tidy and it just gets dirty again.
I know, that's how it works.

I guess I just feel like nothing else in my life is tidy right now. I at least wish the apartment could be organized and fresh. But there is so much to do and I feel sad and overwhelmed doing it on my own while she is at work.
And I am jealous that she is at work.
I can never get my life together.

At least I am good at cleaning and keeping the house together.

I just feel flat today.
What the *** does any of it matter?