x,
I read what you wrote and could relate. My faith in God holds because of His promises.
I went to a bible college which turned out to be cultic in some ways. Being financially ripped off really angered me, but I let it go. I know He's always mindful of where I'm at with decisions, because He will warn me not to do something which will not be good for me. Answers aren't always apparent. I do know I will suffer if I harbor grudges or unforgiveness for wrongs. He's saved my life a number of times, so I know He's there even in the valleys. I'm glad we are still talking of faith. All the best with your journey....