Hey Everyone,

SO. I have been dealing with different mental disorders for about 5 years now. I have been in treatment since, so started when I was 15 for suicidal thoughts and actions. I was with a wonderful shrink who i got along with so well. It was perfect, there was no waits, i can get in any time to see her as my boarding school forced me to go and would pull unbelievable strings to get me in there. Once I graduated 2 years ago, within one week my grandmother passes, my parents split, and I moved from Canada to Australia. I had a girlfriend at the time of leaving which did kind of suck. But it was not a big deal for me. When I returned 10 months later, my father was moved out, my brother kicked out shortly after i returned and it was down to my mom and I in a huge house, pool big yard and everything. We moved from that into a small trailer as the two of us were in the middle of building a small new home. the Girlfriend at that point left (dont blame her, I was a mess) and thats when my panic attacks started. I ended up in the hospital 3-4 times a week dealing with it and I was diagnosed with Psycosis. 6 months pass and I was doing okay, moved out of home and moved to a new city about 500km away. Things were GREAT for 2 months! best 2 months of my life I think. First day at a new job, in the last 15 mins of work I developed stroke symptoms and had to go to the hospital. After 5 hours of crazy tests it was concluded that I have chronic migraines. After a week of not getting out of bed, sleeping obserd amounts I quickly fell back into really bad thoughts and depression. So i left one night and went back home without notice. Since then (about 3 weeks now) I have left the house once to start a job for the day, and have not returned to the job. I have been to see the doctor, the Psycosis intervention program will not take me back, and the shrinks in my town are just the generic people who really dont care. I dont know what my next step is. I just want to get back to being ME!