What is my next step?

Hey Everyone,

SO. I have been dealing with different mental disorders for about 5 years now. I have been in treatment since, so started when I was 15 for suicidal thoughts and actions. I was with a wonderful shrink who i got along with so well. It was perfect, there was no waits, i can get in any time to see her as my boarding school forced me to go and would pull unbelievable strings to get me in there. Once I graduated 2 years ago, within one week my grandmother passes, my parents split, and I moved from Canada to Australia. I had a girlfriend at the time of leaving which did kind of suck. But it was not a big deal for me. When I returned 10 months later, my father was moved out, my brother kicked out shortly after i returned and it was down to my mom and I in a huge house, pool big yard and everything. We moved from that into a small trailer as the two of us were in the middle of building a small new home. the Girlfriend at that point left (dont blame her, I was a mess) and thats when my panic attacks started. I ended up in the hospital 3-4 times a week dealing with it and I was diagnosed with Psycosis. 6 months pass and I was doing okay, moved out of home and moved to a new city about 500km away. Things were GREAT for 2 months! best 2 months of my life I think. First day at a new job, in the last 15 mins of work I developed stroke symptoms and had to go to the hospital. After 5 hours of crazy tests it was concluded that I have chronic migraines. After a week of not getting out of bed, sleeping obserd amounts I quickly fell back into really bad thoughts and depression. So i left one night and went back home without notice. Since then (about 3 weeks now) I have left the house once to start a job for the day, and have not returned to the job. I have been to see the doctor, the Psycosis intervention program will not take me back, and the shrinks in my town are just the generic people who really dont care. I dont know what my next step is. I just want to get back to being ME!

Have you been put on medication(s) to prevent psychosis from occurring? If so, have you been taking it since____?

I get bad migraine headaches too. No fun at all! Have doctors tried quick-release med's to control the pressure in your head? I take Maxalt for mine. It usually works pretty well, the sooner I take it, the better. Personally, I have a bad habit of trying to simply put up with the pain. It's stupid, I know. Just used to meds not working very well for me, so I don't automatically seek meds out.

Do you have a personality disorder? Not an accusation. I am just curious. Personality disorders often can't be treated through medication and do require regular, healthy patterned behavior. Perhaps that is why the psychosis prevention program won't take you back??

There are lots of really good generic Joe/Jane therapists. Getting one that specializes in issues that continue for you would probably be the most helpful. Some specialize in child abuse, abandonment issues, etc. Others specialize in anxiety and eating disorders, etc. Others see a variety of patients, which may work well for them. Do look into the therapists in your area and pick a few that you think would be a good match with you. Then, set up appointments, to see if you can strike up a relationship with one of them. And go from there.

That's the best advice that I could give to you. Try to be more open-minded about who would be a good match for you. Ask about meds, if you haven't already, to see if that helps you feel a little better as time passes.

Best wishes to you!