I know I am still manic or something since may now. Yesterday I was so high I was on top of the world. Then at night I grew more and more anxious and agitated, didn't get a wink of sleep. Slept 1 night in last three. Then by this morning I was at the lowest if the low and I'm still there. Crying, guilt, feel so lonely, I'm just clinging.

I'm just a mess. Everyday is completely different. Like I am cycling everyday or something or am I still messy manic? It's utterly confusing. I'm guessing my meds still aren't working . Abilify is making me so restless I cannot stop moving. And I am still not stable. I've also got no appetite, I've lost five pounds in the last few days.

I think I need hugs today. Its really that bad a day.