Wow, I had no idea how often this is the story in families.......I almost thought I was reading a post from my friend (who isn't a member here) as it sounded exactly like what she has gone through with one of her son's & his wife.

At least there are miles between you (in more than one way) so you can bow out of participating easier than if they were right in your neighborhood. I can't believe being forced to kick in that much for both the wedding & their honeymoon. What I think is the sadest part of this picture is the values that your grandchildren are being brainwashed into believing......that everything is about money & things. Hopefully they will grow up & reject all of that......but it sounds like since they don't have high paying positions, it must be her parents that are lavishly putting on these spreads that teach no worthwhile values in life other than to try to "impress" others by what a lavish show they can put on.

Hold your values & do what you can for your grandchildren as long as they are appreciating you & hopefully some day they will reject those values of their parents that are so superficial.