I haven't logged on in over a month since I'm too ashamed. I've relapsed, like hardcore... I starved myself, I fainted, I over exercised, I fainted, I binged, I purged, I purged blood, I starved, I fainted.

I live by myself away from home in college. I have no roommates, I like that privacy. I like it so I can never keep food in the kitchen. I like it so when I binge, I won't be afraid someone will find me covered with shame. I like it so when I purge, no one will hear me. I think that this may have caused my return to destructive habits. I can't change where I live but can something help me from doing this? A moment in sanity prompted me to post and ask for help. I don't want any counseling because what I do is gross and anything more than anonymous internet forums will be too hard. Is there any way that I can save myself when I live alone?