I did admit all those things to T. I think she believes I am making a bigger deal out of some minor issues so that I don't deal with the problem that has completely devastated me. That gem came up towards the end of the session. I trust her professional opinion and we will be dedicating next week's session to this HUGE topic that I need to start addressing.

It is amazing how your whole life and future can be torn apart in an instant. the best laid plans fall apart and there is no way to fix it. I don't want to talk about it with anyone, but it is all I think about all day. I don't have thoughts of ending anything, but I definitely don't care to go on putting in effort to living day to day. It is exhausting.