A huge heartfelt thanks for you replies, vaarier & St406. Knowing there are people here at PsychCentral who are supportive, experienced, & honest with advice gets me through some really difficult moments. I have no support system... yet.

Yes to the meds for fibromyalgia & migraines/seizures. I have yet to see a doctor for the depression. Took 2 months to find one that accepted my healthcare ins. But success came & my first appt is in 2 days. I don't know what to expect from this initial session, but I am grateful to have a chance to talk to someone about how dark I feel. This overwhelming sadness is awful! I am finding it more & more difficult to "fake (being) fine" when I am around others.

Employer outright refused to write the letter until I explained my situation. I did & it made me feel worse, I could have choked having to admit to essentially a stranger that I have disabilities. Regardless, employer wrote it, faxed it, & I have a copy. The amount of hours I work I think may be insufficient for payback. Tomorrow morning is my court hearing. I will soon find out.

Let me say thanks again, for your replies really mean a lot to me.