Where do I put this anger? I am sitting here trying to relax and watch TV and that table is full of bills lined up, all created from my neighbor. And that is all I have been doing is trying to pay that minimum and day off? NO I have to concentrate on the due dates of all these different bills, charges I made to try to have the animals tended by different vets. And every job I do it for that and usually this time of year I am ready for winter and my hay loft is full and I have money in my account. And even though the economy has been bad, I can't do all the jobs I used to do but I have to turn business away because of the loss, and I could have filled a lesson program. And when I pay my therapist, I try to reason it's for my sanity and in the back of my mind, I add it up and that could pay some bills that keep coming in from my neighbors negligence. So many medical bills left in my lap, cripples I tend every day.

I am not going to make it through the winter, I can see the writing on the walls. I wont be able to keep up with those bills from my neighbor, maybe if I sell my lovely Mustang.
Oh I am tired of this but I can't be that now can I , have to keep on hoping right?

I wake up some days and I really want to have it all be a bad dream you know? I can't believe all of this and the stupid attorney. And I watch my neighbors come through that right of way and they are constantly in my face, and I have try to what ignore? I passed them on my way to my therapist, and I often pass them on the road out to work or home from work. I keep telling myself well, they have to see me be reminded that I am there and they know they were negligent, they do know that. But they have been living thier lives the past for years, I have been spending mine trying to pick up so many pieces everywhere I look.

Open Eyes