I definitely agree about the drug use and it is scarey but she says she uses them as recreational use ever weekend so it is no big deal and sometimes there for a while it was every darn day or every other day while she was doing this cabin story thing with me for a year. Long story... I don't understand it myself but whether it is every day, every other day or every weekend it is still a problem and affects her overall being and mental health. She don't see this because she don't want to stop. She has said this very clearly several times. You can not rationalize yourself on this crap. It is talking for you distorting your mind and messing with the plessure center of your brain and dopamine. She won't hardly make love to me unless she has it. Why is this? That makes me feel like crap too. She is 30 older than me and we have been together for 10 years so this has been an ongoing thing but I now know that I can't fix it. I miss that person that I knew long ago but really did she change or did I? Maybe this was always her and I am the one who grew.... or is trying so hard to find the answers for myself that way I can help myself grow more hopefully into my highest potentials in life. I love her with all my heart but I know that she don't want to be fixed and I can't fix her or help her. Love and LIght Jessica