Welcome and lots of to you, sweetpea1977!

Other side of the table here. Much of what you wrote I can't help but think was what my ex-husband felt, especially the eggshells (my hypomania can include extreme irritability) and having to take an almost parent-like role, especially financially, but also in things like cooking, because when depressed I just can't concentrate enough, don't care and basically stop eating. These episodes went on for vast stretches of time and honest to God, I don't know how he put up with it. I felt bad about so much falling to him. Fortunately he was an extremely patient person. (25 years patient! )

Ok, now for more heartening things! I'm still not the easiest person in the world to live with, but with a good med mix, it is definitely better. (I was unmedicated nearly the whole time with the ex, and quite out of control.) I'm sorry to hear that getting a good med mix is taking so long. Sometimes it does, but I hope a good mix is found soon. Maybe it won't be the same as before, but that doesn't mean that things might not get much much better... The closeness is not necessarily gone either. When feeling badly, there is a big tendency to distance, and not even realize one is doing so. But when feeling better, "snuggliness" can also return. Along with other things you have enjoyed before. There IS hope.

Be absolutely sure to make "you" time, even if it is only in small ways to help keep burnout at bay. There are some good books written especially for someone living with someone with BP. (though I've not read it, "Living with Someone who is Living with Bipolar Disorder" by Chelsea Lowe, 2010 has been mentioned here on the BP forum as a good one.) Personally, I'd definitely go for something that is focused on keeping yourself on keel and even buoyed. There is room for your feelings and well-being. They are essential. And finding ways to do good things for yourself can help with that.

(Some BP books are annoyingly focused on negatives. Avoid them. Not to be bossy , but I find them disheartening and seem to imply the worst things to be universal. They're NOT.)