***** trigger trigger trigger trigger trigger****



I've been cutting sporadically over the last couple weeks or so, resorting to it again to cope with my emotions. I've had a couple of bad nights over the weekend, and have about a dozen or so fresh cuts. I don't cut very deep anymore, and I don't think they'll be deep enough to scar... which... brings me to something else I did tonight. I had a few deeper cuts that scarred quite badly and that I don't think would have faded. Tonight I was having a bath and had candles burning, and impulsively I held some metal tweezers in the flame, then burned my arm with them over some of my scars. I guess in an attempt to make them into something I might be able to pass off as some kind of cooking accident... not sure that's going to work. It hurt like hell, went white, and it's all blistered now. Maybe I just made it worse. Also, I'm kind of worried about the fact that I could give myself a pretty serious burn like this... it just seems so extreme to me now that I actually think about it.

Will probably have to update T again. Ugh, the shame...