Thread: hello..
View Single Post
 
Old Nov 18, 2011, 04:27 PM
dusty9838's Avatar
dusty9838 dusty9838 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irreplaceable View Post
Give it time....The break up is still new...What you are going through, it's normal, that is if you are depressed over the break up which I'm assuming that you are since you mentioned only the break up in your post...10 years is a long time....It's almost like a marriage...When you're with someone for that long, you plan your life with them and around them...Your life basically centers around them...You imagine everything from marriage, to kids, to buying a house, etc...When you break up, you feel confused and devasted because you feel like you don't have a future, if that future doesn't include them....

You didn't mention why you two broke up...If she broke up with you, it's probably more devastating because she feels ready to move on, but you're not ready...If it was mutual, remember why you two decided to break up in the first place....I've only had one break up....And I can tell you, whenever I got down about the break up, I reminded myself of the bad times and why we broke up...Yes there will be great memories that you share with someone when you are with them for as long as you were, but there were also bad times...Things that lead up to the decision to end things...

I would allow myself grieving time...I would occupy my time with doing things with friends and family...Have someone you can rely on to talk to when you need to talk...Grieve, but don't let it be a long grievance...Get it out of your system and move on....Why sit there and cry or worry about someone who has moved on with their life and probably not grieving the way you are?...That's another epiphany I had..."Why am I sitting here crying and upset over this dude and he has moved on and not thinking twice about me?"...

And finally, cut off all contact with her...I'm talking no twitter, facebook, myspace, texting, calling to check up....None of that...If you keep in contact with her, you're holding on to her...Let her go....The more contact you have, the harder it will be for you to move on....

After my break up, I had to look at the bright side....What's done is done...Now I need to prepare myself for the person that I am meant to be with...Take this time to work on you and to figure out some things...Evaluate what it is that you want in your next mate....Work on you so that when you do meet her, you are ready and won't have the same relationship issues...I looked at it like, "There is someone out there waiting for me! The person that I am suppose to be with. He probably doesn't know that I exist now, but when we do meet, it will make this relationship not seem so life shattering".

People come in our lives for a reason...You two were together for a reason...Learn from it and move on...I know it's easier said than done, but what else can you do?

Good luck...
Thank you for your reply. It's nice to know that as bad as I'm feeling that there is someone, even a complete stranger, can view and reply to my post. I guess it is just nice to know someone cares. You seem to understand the situation very well and I'm sorry that you have had your heartbroken as well. I'm still going through a lot of pain right now and I have been telling myself it's only been a little over a week and maybe I just need another week to grieve a bit more...

The last part of your post really hit the spot for me... I know that we were together for a reason and I know she was brought into my life for a reason... which makes it so much harder for this entire situation. It really hurts so much and I thank you for your kind words and advice.