Quote:
Originally Posted by AlyRocheleau
My Fiancee has Aspergers and at times gets angry at very simple or little things. Even if the anger isn't directed at me it makes me very fearful and uncomfortable because I was formerly abused. I'm not scared of my fiancee and he has never become physically violent to myself or anyone else that I know of. How do I let him know that his temper makes me afraid of him without setting him off?  |
Simple I-statements may help: When you do ______, I feel _______. What I need from you instead is _______. Good "get to know ya" language. Negotiation begins there and is what builds a respectful relationship through the understanding of one's autonomy through healthy boundaries.
There's a book called
Be Different by John Elder Robison who has Asperger's and delights in the brilliance of his brain function, but also recognizes his need to train himself in social connection. He's written an amazingly hopeful and inspiring memoir. Susan Q.