Notdamooma hi.

When you rely only on medication and other people for your wellbeing and mental progress, you run the danger of feeling helpless and hopeless if these two don't work for you. That's what happened to me a couple of times in my teens. Later I decided to do something about my mental diseases myself, by using self-help books. That made a lot of difference. I overcome OCD, PTSD, social anxiety... except depression which I occasionally (pretty strongly) have.

You could go to therapy, but you say it isn't available. So I think reading self-help books and putting them into practice can make a difference.

I suggest you go to amazon.com or some other online bookstore. Then search for books that help you with your mental illnesses.

In the search box, search for something like "anxiety workbook" "anxiety cbt" "seperation anxiety" "dependent anxiety workbook". And things like that. You can learn a lot from some books.

I've also been an inpatient, and I became really good at hiding my problems and suicidal tendencies. Still, I was kept there for 5 months, but they probably would have kept me there 8 to 12 months if I didn't hide my problems. It's such a hell. You know outside well be a hell, but inside you are hurting too.