You are not alone.

My mother attempted suicide when I was 11 and I remember all too well the hell we went through for about 3 months. Not to mention my own anger at her.

She is the reason I will never make that choice. This does not mean that I do not have suicidal thoughts. Or that I wish death would take me from my hell. It just means that I will stop and think about how I felt back then. And that is what stops me from following in her footsteps. I won't do that to my family.

It isn't guilt. We have just learned from another persons mistake.